There are three stages of a drunk women:
1. O, boy! I am so drunk!
2. Who drunk? Am I drunk??
3. On the taxi driver question: "Madam, what is the address?" - She hits him with the purse and answers: "It is not your business, jerk!"
- If somebody calls taxi in 3am and all of them sober it means all of them accountants!
Junky takes a taxi:
- Airport, please!
- We are in airport...
- Here is $50.00 and next time don' rush so fast!
Young fellow kidnapped his girlfriend, takes a cab and orders to take them to the train station. When they arrive he asks the driver:
- "How much for the trip?"
- "Nothing" replies taxi driver: "Her father already paid for everything!"
Girl calling her boyfriend from the taxi:
- "I am going to be at home in the next 5 min, but I don't have cash"
- "It's ok, pay in old fashion way and I'll repay you later at night."
Driving Exam in traffic school:
- Cross section, here you are, over there is a bus, farther a truck and next is a biker - who should start moving first?
- Taxi driver!
- Why taxi driver? I never mentioned taxi driver, where did you see taxi driver?
- That is my point! They always appear when no one expects to see them!
Naked woman takes a taxi. Taxi driver is constantly turning his head back.
- What? Did you ever see a naked woman?
- I did, I just wondering were you keeping money?
Two drunk guys stop the taxi and ask:
- Are you going to take three of us to the train station?
- What did you smoke today? It is only two of you...
- What?... You are not coming with us?..
Woman asks cab driver to take her to airport
- You know, you are the third pregnant woman I took to airport today
- I am not pregnant!
- Well, we are not in airport yet!
Passenger to cab driver:
- Don't you think it is a time to wash a windshield?
- What for? I forgot my glasses at home..
Passenger takes the cab and asks:
- Do you have air bags?
- I do, just look on the back seat.. You'll find two of them