- Do you remember uncle Joe from Florida who passed away five years ago?
- Yeas! Of course!
- Well... I talk to him yesterday...
- So, it happens...
- Well, today I received a phone bill for this conversation!!
The guy from Arizona is going to Mexico to fill up a gas and stopped by border patrol.
- "For how long you are planning to go that far?"
- "Until they make a new car with two pedals - brake and transmission".
The officer asks:
- "What about gas pedal?"
- "It won't have one, it's too expensive".
Specialists made a prediction that in the next 20 years all population of baby boomers generation going to have Alzheimer's disease. Woman going to have huge boobs, man permanent erection and no one is going to remember what for al of this was needed
Do you know Jimmy who lives across of prison?
- Well, now he lives in that prison...
Years of economic crises... In the Fresh Market...
Customer: "What is a price for your horse?"
Salesperson: Madam, where did you see a horse? I am selling rabbits!"
Customer:"I looked at the right place!! I am looking at your prices!!"
-Are you Jew?
- No, I just look bad today
American and Russian met at the bar:
- American: "How much you could drink? Could you have one glass of vodka?"
- Russian: "Of course! But I need to have one marinated pickle!"
- American:" Could you drink two glasses of vodka?"
- Russian: "Of course! But I need to have two pickles!"
- American: "Could you drink three glasses of vodka?"
- Russian:" Of course! But I need to have three pickles!"
- American:" Could you drink 100 glasses of vodka?"
- Russian:" Are you crazy? I could not possibly eat so many pickles!!"
Years of economic crises. Family affairs:
- Aunty! When are you planning to leave?
- Why are you asking, baby?
- Daddy said that while you are here, we could not have dinner!
- I read that the biggest happiness for a woman is to get married.
- Well, as soon she got married all of the happiness is left behind!
Years of economic crises.
-Would you have dinner with me?
- Then 6pm at your place!
Boss telling the joke, everybody laughs except one. Boss asks:
- Why are you not laughing?
- Why should I? Tomorrow is my last day!
Years of economic crises... Evening... Bed time...
- Daddy! Can I watch TV?
- Of course, baby, just don't turn it on!